Re-application for membership

Message

PacketLoss · #91 Post by **PacketLoss** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:40 pm

Yeah what kind of sick mind do you have?

Steven · #92 Post by **Steven** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:42 pm

i drink apple juice.

GreyEyes · #93 Post by **GreyEyes** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:48 pm

Nowhere.Lang wrote:He said "magic plants"...you are assuming he is talking about drugs.

alright. i guess i retract my statement then, because he said "magic plants".

Ain Soph Aur · #94 Post by **Ain Soph Aur** » Thu Jan 27, 2005 2:29 am

i was talking about chyrsanthemum's

Blackjack_21 · #95 Post by **Blackjack_21** » Thu Jan 27, 2005 10:28 am

No you weren't...

Blackjack_21 · #96 Post by **Blackjack_21** » Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:15 pm

Hmm...
Approacing 5 months since I re-apped, and not much has changed, has it? I'll admit, it's all on me. I didn't try hard enough to control my loud mouth, and it shows. Story of my life, make things 100x harder than they have to be. Show me the path of least resistance and I'll laugh and take the rough road, everytime. It must be part of my nature to never take the easy route, and this is a good example of it.
Guess I'll let this one die, too. Maybe Psycho and Java were right back in September, after all. If that's the case, then I brought it on myself. Sorry I couldn't live up to the community's standards. I'm not going to apply again unless someone around here asks me why I haven't, but even then I know I'll never get in. I just wanted to be part of a community that wasn't about competition and playing this game like it was a career, and if you failed, you lost everything.
Yes, I have a competitive nature, and no, I don't like to lose. That's who I am, and that's how I'm wired up inside. I just thought that hanging with a group like the Langstas would make the gaming experience that much more interesting and fun. I've gotten scattered praise from some members about my game improving, but I just can't seem to get over that plateau that seperates me from the 'really good' players. I'll have to deal with being mediocre for a while, until I can figure out what I need to do in order to get better. I think I'm heading in the right direction, but there's always room for improvement.
I know this post is the polar opposite of my demeanor ingame, and I can't explain it, other than to say I don't like to lose. Maybe that's more the mindset of a competitive player, but I've already found out that I can't hang with that crowd. They play on a MUCH higher level, and it's way out of my reach. Pubbing on NF is where I belong, even though some players would pay to have me permabanned...

Anyway, Let's hope things change with regard to me and my bi-polar attitude. Consider this post a reflection, and a bit of an appology to everyone I've annoyed on NF. I'm not the whining little bastard I seem to be, but without knowing me personally, you'd never know that.

I'm sorry, everyone. Truly, deeply, honestly sorry. Forgive me if you can, ignore me if you want. I leave that option to you.

James

Khan · #97 Post by **Khan** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 10:37 am

Blackjack, I think that we can all say that NF wouldn't be the same without people like you, lang or not, you offer a lot to the community, and I think that's a pretty monumental thing for a person to do. It's a bittersweet feeling that Lang standards measures in what kind of personality one has and I think that sometimes it makes us blind to whats really going on behind the monitor. Hats off to ya bro.

IncredibleMojo · #98 Post by **IncredibleMojo** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:10 pm

I am definitely the whiny little bastard everyone thinks me to be.

James you have come a long way baby. Who knows what the future holds.

Good Luck and yes I am a whore.

MackDr!zzle · #99 Post by **MackDr!zzle** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:12 pm

I dont know you very well, but i appreciate the time and effort put forth in your last post. Shows good heart.

Good luck buddy.

Swordy · #100 Post by **Swordy** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:21 pm

Spec me hoho...

I haven't seen much of your bad side in that you would come off a bit derogatory, but I have seen the competitor's edge in you. Not that that's all that bad, just a little too energetic hehe. In any case I think you're all right and a fun character to play with. You're a good guy.

Ain Soph Aur · #101 Post by **Ain Soph Aur** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:33 pm

For what it's worth i'd like to see you become a Lang. You've definitely tried harder and becomming a Lang than anyone else has. I remember the first time you came on the server... Everyone, I mean EVERYONE was ragging you making fun of your wife and whatnot, but you still came back. You've also worked really hard to control yourself and be more disciplined. I like having you around, not just to tease you HAARRRRR! Don't give up.

Blackjack_21 · #102 Post by **Blackjack_21** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:21 pm

Ain, that's cool...I make fun of my wife too, as long as she's 10 miles away, at work...

Mojo, nah, you don't whine, at least not that I've seen. You are very fair on enforcing the rules, and that's one of the reasons I hang on NF. When an admin isn't on, though, you know it because the /killing gets out of control. Anyway, let's see what happens when I get that headset you sent me, and I never did thank you on NF for that. Thank you for helping me when it's clear that Plantronics wouldn't. Last time I ever buy from them again.

Chud · #103 Post by **Chud** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 7:52 pm

Swordy wrote:Spec me hoho...

I haven't seen much of your bad side in that you would come off a bit derogatory, but I have seen the competitor's edge in you. Not that that's all that bad, just a little too energetic hehe. In any case I think you're all right and a fun character to play with. You're a good guy.

Swordy, where the hell have you been?

Blackjack_21 · #104 Post by **Blackjack_21** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:00 am

Well, after almost 6 months and no definite answer, I can assume the answer is "No". Not that I'm surprised, mind you. I have figured out that my penchance for playing covert incorrectly is what leads to me blowing my top, so I actually have learned something from this last few months. That, and I should have never started playing around with crosshairs trying to find the right one. Now I forgot which one I was used to.

Well, once the server comes back online, I'll try to figure out which one it was. Having to re-install everything on my HDD didn't help, since I never backed up my config and had to perform some black magic to get it back. Whoever says Win2k is the most stable version of the OS has never had the same problems I've been having with it, that's for sure...

dig1tal · #105 Post by **dig1tal** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 8:27 pm

bj21,

where are you man?!